HeadlineUpdate Update: Read this on the Huffington Post (but come back to this site for more jocularity)
Barack Obama will accept the Democratic presidential nomination on the Moon, and not as previously reported Denver's Invesco Field at Mile High, a 76,000-seat stadium home to the Denver Broncos, the Democratic National Committee announced Monday.
"We thought about the stadium thing," a spokesman for the Obama campaign said. "But the Rolling Stones weren't available as a warm-up and besides, we've done stadiums already. Barack Obama sees the Moon as a chance to talk not just to everybody in Denver, but everybody in the world."
The Obama campaign, in cooperation with NASA, will launch dozens of satellites in the next few weeks that harness what scientists call "the IMAX Maximus" effect, which creates a field of particles that can receive projected images from fifty thousand miles away. The Obama speech is expected to reach 85% of the world's population.
Talking to reporters on his campaign plane on Monday, Senator Obama said,
"When I was going door to door on the streets of Chicago talking to poor folks about hope, people said I was promising them the moon. I wasn't then, but I am now."
A spokesman for NASA, when asked whether the agency was under any political pressure from the Bush Administration to refuse cooperation to the presumed Democratic nominee, said, "Sure we were. But "f--k" 'em. They won't be around much longer, and we'd love to keep our jobs."
When asked how much the broadcast would cost, an Obama spokesman declined to provide a specific amount, but said it was in the "low hundreds of millions."
Meanwhile, the Obama campaign's bold move is being eyed with interest on Madison Avenue. Coca-Cola, long known to be interested in buying naming rights to the Moon, sees the satellite technology as a satisfying first step.
"We always said that we'd like to give the world a Coke," the company said.